"Why can't she do what I tell her to do?" Xiao-Mei's mother, who has called many times, always speaks in in a hurried manner when she calls.

My Out-of-Control Child

Seven-year-old Xiao-Mei often struggles to follow the rules set by her mother. Her mother has to raise her voice to get Xiao-Mei to cooperate, leading to frequent arguments between them in public. Additionally, Xiao-Mei often fails to complete her school assignments on time and refuses to do household chores. This forces her mother to repeatedly scold her with a scowl, in order to get Xiao-Mei to finish her homework and go to bed on time.

Xiao-Mei is reluctant to cooperate until her mother has to yell at her, which makes their relationship worse.

Learning to Interact with Children at Different Developmental Stages

During the conversation, the social worker listened to and empathized with the mother's feelings and guided her to think about what had happened to Xiao-Mei. Is it really because the child is naughty and difficult to discipline, or is it because she doesn't understand the rules yet? How much self-control can children of different ages have?

The social worker also explained to the mother the needs of the child's developmental stage. During the call, they practiced how to discuss rules with Xiao-Mei. For example, they talked about keeping the environment simple and free of distractions during homework time, setting fixed periods for focus and breaks, and observing if Xiao-Mei can manage this. If Xiao-Mei meets the initial goals, it is important to give her recognition and then gradually increase the focus time after discussing it with her.

The social worker also asked the mother to consider what she hopes Xiao-Mei can learn at her age. After thinking for a moment, the mother replies, "I hope she can start learning to do household chores." The social worker encouraged the mother to use the same strategy of setting rules together with Xiao-Mei and providing recognition and encouragement when she successfully completes the tasks.

Accompanying Parents on the Parenting Journey

Modern parents are facing more pressure and challenges in raising their children; 3C products, academic pressure, and changes in family relationships are all impacting parent-child relationships. Child Welfare League Foundation (CWLF) hopes to accompany parents in their parenting journey, relieve their stress, find solutions to problems and enhance parent-child relationship. In 2013, CWLF set up the "Parenting Helpline" to provide counseling services to caregivers of children under the age of 18 to help them.

The "Parenting Helpline" is set up for parents and caregivers of youth under 18.

"At first, I would feel nervous every time I pickd up the phone," the helpline social worker said. In the course of their work, they encounter a wide range of issues such as children's emotional problems, school bullying, addiction to electronic devices, and school refusal or dropout. Parents also bring various emotions to these calls. Some feel helpless because their parenting methods are ineffective, and others are angry due to frequent conflicts with their children. Before answering the phone, the social worker cannot predict the caller's state, which often makes them feel anxious.

Although there are moments of tension and challenge in answering calls, social workers often feel the parents' genuine care and willingness to understand their children's needs during consultations. Parents are open to discussing and practicing real parenting scenarios together. Additionally, the encouragement and gratitude expressed by parents provide the motivation for social workers to persevere and continue learning!

◼︎ More information for Helpline Service: https://www.children.org.tw/service/index/2313/2033